DISCIPLESHIP IS SPIRITUAL PARENTING
It’s an intentional transfer of a way of thinking, living, and a heart attitude, through teaching, modeling, and practice.
There are often two mistakes made when defining Jesus’s style of discipleship:
- Generalizing: Reading into disciple-making from our own culture. We attach importance to the things we do and the institutions we build and call it “discipleship.”
- Mimicking: Trying to perfectly emulate first-century practices. Are we to do it exactly as Jesus did—looking for fifteen-to-eighteen-year-olds and inviting them to leave their homes for three years, like first-century talmidim? I don’t think that would be wise.
Understanding Jesus’s style of discipleship means extracting the timeless, transferable principles He used in first-century culture and applying them in our own. Jesus modeled healthy spiritual parenting. Not the weird, controlling, manipulative kind. Just as parents ensure their children grow into self-sufficient adults who can parent children, a disciple-maker takes on the spirit of that role.
Jesus intentionally transferred a way of thinking, a way of living, and a heart attitude through teaching, modeling, and hands-on practice—so that His disciples could do the same for others.
Purpose of This Lesson:
To highlight several principles from the life and model of Jesus to help us understand what it means to be involved in discipleship today.
A POSTURE OF SERVANTHOOD
“But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. Even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
— Matthew 20:26–28
Jesus modeled servanthood. Philippians 3 reminds us that even though He could have expected to be treated as God (because He was), He instead chose the posture of a servant and called His disciples to do the same.
Key Principles:
- A. God-Focused:
Jesus’s servanthood advanced His Father’s mission and vision (John 6:35–40). Discipling others must be about advancing God’s mission, not our own. - B. Serving Those We Disciple:
Jesus looked for what He could give, not what He could get. (John 13) - C. Ownership:
Disciples are God’s people, not ours. Jesus acknowledged that His followers were given to Him for a season (John 17:9–12, 24). Likewise, we serve those God places in our lives with open hands. - D. No Competition:
Jesus didn’t disciple to build a brand. Servanthood means staying connected to others, including our pastor, our church leadership, and fellow disciple-makers.
RELATIONAL MODELING
“Come and see …”
— John 1:39a
Jesus taught the multitudes, but discipled in smaller settings. His disciples lived with Him—eating, sleeping, and traveling together. They were friends (John 15:14–15), and learning was built on the foundation of relationship.
- Books and sermons are important, but Jesus-style discipleship happens up close, through life-on-life modeling.
- We must be humble and authentic, recognizing we, too, are still growing. (Romans 1:12)
- Discipling others doesn’t mean controlling their choices. Judas was discipled just like Andrew. Our role is to teach grace and truth (Matthew 18).
- Healthy boundaries help protect key relationships like marriage and family.
TEACHING
“… everything that Jesus began to do and teach.”
— Acts 1:1
Teaching is a vital part of discipleship, but it requires humility. We must clearly distinguish between:
- Scriptural principles and
- Personal opinions (Romans 14; Luke 10:23–28).
Teaching happens in different ways:
- Preparation: (Matthew 10) Teach in anticipation of future needs.
- Debriefing: (Matthew 17:19–20) Reflect after experiences.
- Lectures: (Matthew 5) Provide prepared lessons.
- Conversations: (Luke 9:57) Engage in everyday discussions.
- Asking Questions: (Matthew 6:28) Jesus asked over 300 questions in the Gospels.
PRACTICE
Jesus didn’t just have His disciples observe—He involved them!
- Baptizing
- Praying for the sick
- Managing crowds
- Handling finances
- Preparing meals
Mistakes were part of their growth process.
Theory creates head knowledge; practice creates transformation.
Without practice, discipleship is incomplete.
Examples include:
- Praying for others
- Teaching Scripture
- Serving the needy
- Sharing faith
- Managing money
- Volunteering and leading
Jesus also sent His disciples on short-term mission trips (Luke 10) to practice their learning—a method still used today to provide intense discipleship experiences.
REPRODUCIBLE
“Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!”
— Matthew 4:19
“Then he appointed twelve of them … They were to accompany him, and he would send them out to preach.”
— Mark 3:14
Jesus discipled with a clear goal: reproduction.
He didn’t just want followers; He wanted disciple-makers who could reproduce the process.
The ultimate measure of discipleship is not how many people follow us, but how many people are discipled by those we disciple.
Discussion Questions
- What one key discipleship principle stood out to you, and why?
- How can you strengthen your emphasis on discipleship if you’re already leading a group?
- What practical ways could a posture of servanthood look like in your discipling?